Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
