I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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