so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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