i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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