Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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