Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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