I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
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My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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