It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
