what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize