I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
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