umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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