I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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