I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
