i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
