Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
