Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
