This girl is more easily done than said...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
