My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
