...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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