I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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