In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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