FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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