Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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