these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
