very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
