Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
