I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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