just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
