I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
