Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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