i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
