i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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