I showed him my bush... on skype.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
