is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
