I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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