It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
