I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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