We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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