Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
