he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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