We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize