I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
