i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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