So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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