THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
