You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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