I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
