the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
