careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The air taste purple.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
