god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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