I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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