So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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