Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize