Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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