um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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