Dude i fell asleep inside of her
I can text with my tongue
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?