You don't have asthma, your pregnant
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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