I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
