Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
