Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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