You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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