did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
