Are we in a gay sports bar?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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