I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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