So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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