I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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