My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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