He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
