so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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