The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You pole danced in your parka.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
