We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she peed on how many people?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
