Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just google imaged poop.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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