How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
