Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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